his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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