i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
