Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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