I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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