I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
