so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
