last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My ATM looks so different sober.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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