one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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