Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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