I'm jealous of your bromance
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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