Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
