Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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