so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
