i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
