Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
