I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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