Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you guys were way drunker than both of me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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