The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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