id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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