so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
