the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
