just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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