i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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