I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
