Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize