i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
