Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
