Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
