I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
