i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
