its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
