you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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