i think my tv is drunk
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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