Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
