Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I could fuck to npr.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
