I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
