Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
