that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
