Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
