my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How does it feel to date your dad?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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