so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
