I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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