yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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