New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
