...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
