im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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