im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
