I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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