Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
last night I used snow as a chaser
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
