i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
