I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
