I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
