Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
