I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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