Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I look better un-naked...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
