I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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