Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
