the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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