i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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