I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
3pm strippers are depressing
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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