Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
