By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
