We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
