What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
